Reframing

I guess we can have a moment of honesty between you and me…

I’ve had my fair share of counseling/therapy, and something that I have often been challenged with is reframing a situation – that is, to look at it from a different perspective.  It’s no doubt a useful tool to bring more positivity and optimism into one’s life. And it’s something that I’m choosing to use now, in this season that God has placed me in:

Single.

The reason I’m choosing to reframe my situation is because it has become much more than that; it has become a burden to me.  Not only do I have family and friends who are constantly (but with good intentions) trying to set me up with random guys, but I have also begun to associate my relationship status with loneliness and self-pity.  What I so often forget is that I’m actually NOT going to find happiness or contentment in a relationship with some guy – no matter how “perfect” he seems to be.  Worldly love doesn’t work like that – it is conditional, selfish, and fleeting.  The kind of love my soul longs for comes only from my Heavenly Father above – His love is Unconditional, selfLESS, and EVERlasting.  It’s foolish to think that anyone other than God Himself could provide me with that.

And to be honest, I’m okay with the season I’m in right now (of course, I always should be, but nobody’s perfect).  I don’t think that I’m yet the person I want to be for my future husband.  I need this time to grow.  To grow in my faith, my self-confidence, and my identity in Christ.

I love the way the Message puts this verse:

“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.” (Ephesians 1:11)

For some reason, I feel like I should be able to find this in a relationship.  I could not be further from the truth.

I praise the Lord for being all that I need in this life and far more.  He has truly blessed me beyond measure, and it is in Him alone that I will find peace.

Hello, World!

Monte Sano 3

Man, it has been SO long since I have written on here!  It has been a long time since I have written anything in general.  But for some reason, I’ve been wanting to get back into it.

I was surprised when I logged onto WordPress to see a notification that today is my one year anniversary for my blog!  Looking back at my first few posts is so crazy.  I have come so far in just a year…  I’ve experienced rock-bottom lows and mountain-top highs and everything in-between.  I’m thankful that right now, I can say that I’m pretty content.  A lot has happened since the last time I posted an update with my eating disorder recovery status.  But, I have good news!!  I have been successful in maintaining my weight since August (and I honestly don’t know what it is, but I plan to keep it that way), and my nutritionist has removed me from my meal plan – now I’m on a more “intuitive eating” kind of plan.  It has been very freeing, and I love the sense of accomplishment that I feel.  It’s like I’ve finally gotten somewhere after battling for almost a year and a half.  Praise the Lord for His ever-faithful help in my time of need and for being sovereign over my life.  Things may not have happened as quickly as I would have liked for them to, but I know that God was in control through it all.

Learning to be patient with God’s timing is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.  Whether it be recovery, relationships, school, job-searching, or whatever else, I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not in fact the ruler of my life!  What’s the point of putting my faith in Christ when I still feel like I have to depend on myself to make things happen?  What Jesus did for me in dying on the cross has given my life more meaning that anything I can do on my own.  So what if I don’t recover overnight?  So what if I’m 20 and single?  So what if I don’t have a job right now?  This all counts as nothing compared to what is ahead.

“Hallelujah!  For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.” (Revelation 19:6 NASB)

Ready, Set, Spring Break!

Man…  Do you ever have those days when you swear it’s Thursday but it’s actually Wednesday and every time you think about it, you feel depressed?  Today is one of those days for me!  This week seriously cannot come to an end soon enough. But, at the same time, I need more time. Time for myself. Time to relax. Time to be an introvert. #antisocialprobs
I feel like I have been moving 90-to-nothing these past couple of weeks (and it’s probably because I have). A trip to DC, staff retreat for summer camp, three exams, doctor’s appointments, meetings, the list continues to go on… Life is hard busy. I hate to complain about how much has been going on, because it has really been a lot of fun! I just desperately need some time to recharge.
Come on, Spring Break… You’re so close (yet so far away). I can here the gulf calling my name. But only to tell me to get back to work. 😛 I’m going on a mission trip with my church for most of the week, so I still have a while before I can get some legitimate rest; but I am so excited to see what The Lord has in store for me and the other 300 college students that will be going. 🙂

Lord, prepare and equip those of us going to serve others over spring break.  Give us willing spirits and compassionate hearts as we come together as the hands and feet of Christ.

All praise, honor, and glory are Yours, Heavenly Father, forever and ever.  Amen.