Reframing

I guess we can have a moment of honesty between you and me…

I’ve had my fair share of counseling/therapy, and something that I have often been challenged with is reframing a situation – that is, to look at it from a different perspective.  It’s no doubt a useful tool to bring more positivity and optimism into one’s life. And it’s something that I’m choosing to use now, in this season that God has placed me in:

Single.

The reason I’m choosing to reframe my situation is because it has become much more than that; it has become a burden to me.  Not only do I have family and friends who are constantly (but with good intentions) trying to set me up with random guys, but I have also begun to associate my relationship status with loneliness and self-pity.  What I so often forget is that I’m actually NOT going to find happiness or contentment in a relationship with some guy – no matter how “perfect” he seems to be.  Worldly love doesn’t work like that – it is conditional, selfish, and fleeting.  The kind of love my soul longs for comes only from my Heavenly Father above – His love is Unconditional, selfLESS, and EVERlasting.  It’s foolish to think that anyone other than God Himself could provide me with that.

And to be honest, I’m okay with the season I’m in right now (of course, I always should be, but nobody’s perfect).  I don’t think that I’m yet the person I want to be for my future husband.  I need this time to grow.  To grow in my faith, my self-confidence, and my identity in Christ.

I love the way the Message puts this verse:

“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.” (Ephesians 1:11)

For some reason, I feel like I should be able to find this in a relationship.  I could not be further from the truth.

I praise the Lord for being all that I need in this life and far more.  He has truly blessed me beyond measure, and it is in Him alone that I will find peace.

My Special Day

What a dreary day.  It’s super early, and I’m sitting in my bed listening to the rain hit my window.  BUT, today is a special day for me…

It’s my one year recovery anniversary!

I have mixed feelings about it, though.  A part of me is trying to be happy about it, another is honestly upset that I’ve gained so much weight back, and another just wants to cry – from gratitude, freedom, love.  I can’t express how grateful I am for the love and support my family and close friends have shown me throughout this past year.  There have been many ups and downs, but their concern for my health and wellbeing has brought me to tears.  God has truly blessed me by surrounding me with people who deeply care for me, and I am overwhelmed by His unending love for me.  I have come such a long way from where I was a year ago.  I mean, I was afraid to eat almost anything…  I was miserable, I was alone, and I didn’t know what to do.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know where to begin when it came to doing something about it.  That’s why I’m so thankful that my parents stepped in; they scheduled me a doctor’s appointment without me knowing, and my life was forever changed.  It’s because of them, my best friend, and her family that I can say that I have my life back.  God has led us through this valley – I’ve hit lows I never thought possible – but here I am today.  I’m not perfect (not even close), but I can say with confidence that I am happy.  And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.