I guess we can have a moment of honesty between you and me…

I’ve had my fair share of counseling/therapy, and something that I have often been challenged with is reframing a situation – that is, to look at it from a different perspective.  It’s no doubt a useful tool to bring more positivity and optimism into one’s life. And it’s something that I’m choosing to use now, in this season that God has placed me in:


The reason I’m choosing to reframe my situation is because it has become much more than that; it has become a burden to me.  Not only do I have family and friends who are constantly (but with good intentions) trying to set me up with random guys, but I have also begun to associate my relationship status with loneliness and self-pity.  What I so often forget is that I’m actually NOT going to find happiness or contentment in a relationship with some guy – no matter how “perfect” he seems to be.  Worldly love doesn’t work like that – it is conditional, selfish, and fleeting.  The kind of love my soul longs for comes only from my Heavenly Father above – His love is Unconditional, selfLESS, and EVERlasting.  It’s foolish to think that anyone other than God Himself could provide me with that.

And to be honest, I’m okay with the season I’m in right now (of course, I always should be, but nobody’s perfect).  I don’t think that I’m yet the person I want to be for my future husband.  I need this time to grow.  To grow in my faith, my self-confidence, and my identity in Christ.

I love the way the Message puts this verse:

“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.” (Ephesians 1:11)

For some reason, I feel like I should be able to find this in a relationship.  I could not be further from the truth.

I praise the Lord for being all that I need in this life and far more.  He has truly blessed me beyond measure, and it is in Him alone that I will find peace.

You say ‘nothin…

You say
‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’
I say
nothing feels as good as eating dinner with your family
on a Saturday night
laughing and talking and chewing
feeling free.
Nothing feels as good as baking cookies with little siblings
stealing bits of dough and chocolate chips
and eating one fresh out of the oven.
Nothing feels as good as curling up on the couch with a good book
and a steaming mug of creamy hot chocolate
with extra marshmallow
on a cold winter’s night
because you chose to be healthy
to get better
to see colour again
because the little things make it worth the struggle.
You take your skinny, your bones, your hunger
I’ll take

Life.  So much meaning behind that little word.  What do you think of when hear it?

Success?  Family?  School?  Work?  Appearance?

Hmm…  What about Jesus?  He said Himself “I am the way, the truth, and the LIFE.” (John 14:6 HCSB)  How often do we look at the obstacles – big or small – we face in life as though they are the end-all be-all of the world as we know it?  (And trust me, I am preaching to myself right now)  I have been struggling so much lately with the way I feel about myself, and sometimes it seems like it is the only thing I can ever focus on.  It has taken complete control of my life.  When can I have it back?

But then I realize that my life was never MINE to begin with.  I don’t live my life for myself because JESUS is my life.  I should be striving to bring Him glory in all that I do.  Is my focusing on my insecurities doing that?  Absolutely not!  But what do I do about it?  How can I stop?

These are the questions I am left asking myself.

Lord, give me the answers.  Give me the strength that I can’t muster on my own.  I know that with Your help, I can overcome any battle that I face in this life.  And I thank You for that, Father; Your grace and mercy never cease to amaze me.  God, please forgive me for my distance, for my doubts, and for any other sins I have committed against You.  You are above all and are so amazing to care enough about ME to send Your son, Jesus Christ, as a propitiation for my filth and baggage.  Praise the Lord! ❤